Prologue

Why can’t you just let it go?

”If we’ve only got this life
And this adventure, oh then I
Wanna share it with you.”

My life after an adventure isn´t starting astonished way at all. I cooked food for the first time in four weeks, just for me, a single dish, dinner for one, and eating it without music in the background, no candlelight, no wine but at least I have napkins. Napkins are one of the habits I learned in seven years. How in the heaven’s name have I managed to live without the God damned napkins for dinner before? Where did I wipe my mouth, or did I even do so, such a white trash suburban musician!

Now, when I was eating in my life after before, I only remembered the colourful napkins from Flying Tiger. I forgot my violin on the bus two weeks ago, and I lost 350€ money from my pocket, but this has been well put in my negligent mind. Napkins. I´m astounded by that, not about this feta pasta.

   When I was biting this thought, I heard a sound. Sound that I haven´t heard in a long time. An incisive quarter note came out of my mouth because I carry the fork between my teeth like Jaws when eating. That sound was not allowed in my life before, and I have learned new ways to eat my food. I haven´t missed that sound at all,  but now it was taking me back to the moment when I was me before this paradise started.

“He was a God I created in the middle of a burning forest”, as one of my favourite authors, Pajtim Statovci, wrote in the love story of a lifetime, Bolla. This paradise has ended, and I will step into hell, where I will not let it go. I need to take accountability for my actions because I stayed and let the life before treat me like he did. It’s time to do a better mistake next time.

”You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn’t hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall.”