Why hurry
Kyllikki Villa ( 1923 -2010 )
Perhaps we should take a moment to pause
Let’s watch
I wouldn’t want to
yet
to get there
Finnish author and a world traveller
Once upon a lifetime, a woman with red rubber boots and a man with 50 markkas richer met in a famous sailor´s hangout restaurant, Kairo. The man got the money from his band member because he didn´t want to go on a date with the woman. “She has four children and is a single parent, but she´s lovely.
Then, a child was born. A proud dad told a story of this great event: “She was born with eyes wide open. They were big blue eyes watching the world.” This magical event was full of imagination. Babies are not born with open eyes, and the colour settles later. In fact, the dad was somewhere in Sweden, and the woman with red rubber boots was becoming a single mom with five children.
These series of unfortunate events still made me possible—a love child.
Light my fire
I had the hike of a lifetime in Lapland. Everything went as planned: There were only 40K and no confrontations with bears or other biggies in the mammal group; all the boothies were empty and well equipped with firewood, and the weather was nice and crispy.
My hopes of meeting a sexy man of the woods with legs that could carry me and my backpack inside the boothy warm up me with something else than a whiskey in a coffee were turned into a meeting with a hiker woman who arrived to lean-to with her three dogs called Hilla, Halla and Hertta. I was dressing up and half naked after crossing the Nuortta river and putting dry clothes on, but fully aware of a pair of eyes which were looking at me as becoming her dream of a sexy woman of the woods who would take her to the boothy. We had a short conversation where I clarified that only logs can light my fire, but I was flattered about being someone’s sexy woman of the woods.
Once-in-a-lifetime moments
I took a train to return to the capital city instead of the bus. My left hip wasn´t happy after the hike, and sitting again on a bus for 11 hours wasn´t an option. Also, 1st class seats and a restaurant on the train felt like a great idea because you still live in a different world after the hike.
Coming back after these adventures, you notice how the pace has slowed down. In my world, especially after a beer, I watched people how they were living their own fast-paced lives: laptops open, phones hooked on their brains, and not talking to anyone or making any contacts. As a Finnish person, I like the silence, but it´s camouflaging the noise of their lives. It´s loud and utterly sad, and I will step into this same world after losing the grip of what I have found on my hiking trip.
I started to think about when the time had stopped in my life: summers when you were a child, first kisses from my loved ones, when I fell in love with my child, getting accepted to studies, moonlight naked swimming, walking home barefoot when the Sun rose, first seeing the cliffs in the Inner Hebrides or Aran Islands, stars in a remote lighthouse island, only me on the dance floor after midnight, wonders without numbers.
You cannot repeat these precious moments and get the same feeling of stopping the time. You cannot put them on a schedule and find the perfect moment; only take a minute to think about these things, which are called memories. You can only create new ones by opening your eyes and seeing the moments right in front of you, and the time might stop or slow the pace. Once in a lifetime moments. I took a second beer and sighed out loud.
Pop-Up single
My left hip didn´t get better after the trip. I needed to slow down, literally. I couldn´t do my runs or keep the fast pace in my life. When I cancelled a night out because my hip was hurting, I had enough. Never say no to high heels at night. It´s a sign of getting old. Even though my oldest brother thinks the sign is to put the shoes on while sitting, the theme is still the shoes.
I had an appointment with a physiotherapist, which felt like a victory to get through the barricades of our health system, but I said the magical words that I couldn´t go to work and the gates of help were open.
The last time when I was seeing an expert in a health business gave me an excellent review of how my boobs were in good condition, and the content was clear. The review was similar this time: my mobility and muscle strength were getting four stars out of five. The overflexible knees were downgrading the overall rating. She assumed that I might have an infection in my pelvic sac but called the doctor to give his opinion.
This doctor was a sexy man from the health centre, and I immediately regretted the morning choice of lingerie when he did the same workout with my legs as the physiotherapist.
- Nothing special happened on your hiking trip?
- No. Absolutely nothing special.
- Do you know what might have caused extra stress to your hip?
- I have run too long and too far away to catch a man.
- Well, let´s help you with that, then. I´ll give you a cortisol shot, which will help your pain.
I hoped he could help with something else, but he said a few wise words after the shot.
- You should stop running after men and let them come to you. This hip needs a rest.
Following the doctor´s orders, I stopped being single and became more of a pop-up single available on the markets when the suitable season is on—other days, being solo and resting my hip for the good stuff. Maybe later, I will do the same leg movements I experienced with the wise doctor. Now, I focus on having fifty shades of red lipstick rather than seeking fifty shades of grey and being a wise mother to my daughter, who started her journey in dating markets. I have stories to tell.
Wise people
Wise people surround me. My youngest brother told me I was not a real single, just a fake one, because I was single by choice, and he was right. Again, his observations were accurate.
I met a man over a year ago, and we tried to start something two times. He is a man that I have been looking for, but one thing is missing. I can´t because I don´t dare to start something. Using a person in your journey to become the person that I would like to be with is unfair. I need to be solo and a pop-up single until I like myself as much as my BFF tries to describe in a jar of “46 reasons why you are my BFF.”
I got it as a birthday present, and it feels unreal to start mornings by reading about myself from a different perspective. I didn´t know how much I disliked myself until I got the jar of hope: the hope of seeing myself in the same way.
Hope is not a strategy
“Hope is not a strategy,” said the life before when discussing politics. I replied with an astounded face that hope was the only strategy I had followed. The life before looked at me with a combination of disgust and realising how different we were. I have never put down that low in my life.
Hope keeps you moving toward the things you want. Hope is a shining sun that shines inside you, lighting the path you are walking and giving you an extra boost. It doesn´t mean you stay still, crossing your hands and wishing for something invisible to me to become visible. Hope is a good thing that warms your heart, is very contagious, and is something to be scared of when you want to live with your life, eyes closed like a newborn.
I was born with wide-open eyes, and these blue eyes watch the world with a strategy of hope. I have found a way to slow down the pace and experience more stopping-the-time moments. I hope that I´m not there yet. I want to watch more and live it because it is once in a lifetime.
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
Talking Heads
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Let me tell you a story 
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