At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over and life is like a song
At Last the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped in clover the night I looked at you
I found a dream that I can speak to
A dream that I can call my own I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill I’ve never known
You smiled and then the spell was cast
And here we are in Heaven
For you are mine at last

Etta James

Exit only

I wanted to have a band. I envision a group that functions like a close-knit family nurturing our shared dream together. We will name it, capture moments in photos, travel as a unit, and embrace the inevitability of growth and change, even as challenges arise. I recognise that, like all things, our journey will end, but the experience will be unforgettable.

It all began when I boldly admitted, fueled by a few drinks, that I had a passion for jazz music. To my surprise, an acquaintance I met at a theatre for unemployed youth confessed she felt the same despite her ambition to become a coroner. Together, we decided to call our dream RadaR, a name we pulled from a hat. 

Our first performance abroad took place in Lithuania. The city that sponsored our journey made a practical decision to transport us and several other artists by minibus, and we endured a lengthy 21-hour ride via Baltica to Klaipeda.

During this journey, I grasped vital lessons about life as an artist, surrounded by fellow creatives. I learned how to catch some sleep on a minibus, resting my head against the seat in front of me, relying on snacks like crisps for nutrition, and recognising the energising power of our go-to staples: coffee, vodka, and cigarettes.

Musically, the journey went according to the plan. However, other challenges arose among the artists. One person got arrested, another was mugged after drinking too much, and there was a dramatic fallout between two artists over a misunderstanding regarding groupie dynamics after having sex.

 On our return trip, border control scrutinised us when they discovered our luggage containing cat food, a bag of asthma inhalers, and used rubber gloves. Our visibly worn-out faces answered the questions. Clearly, they didn’t appreciate the essence of art, and we felt the stark reality of the “exit only” meaning in full force.

This jazz duo expanded into a quartet, which propelled me into the prestigious role of first violinist in the jazz department and set me on the path to becoming a professional musician. The other duo member chose not to pursue her dream of becoming a coroner; she’s now thriving in a high position within the music industry. We took the exit only through RadaR without hesitation. 

The average size of a penis

My next band that needs to be mentioned had a provocative name: What is the average size of a human penis? That was the name. While I joined after the name was decided, I did weigh my options before I became involved. 

At one point, I found myself at a fuel station, reflecting on where I was. Since Google Maps had not been invented yet and TomTom had left in another city, I resorted to navigating with notes from a map. Thankfully, I had my phone to text that I was late for our first band rehearsals, but I was too proud to ask for directions. 

A decision loomed: should I abandon this adventure just because the universe seemed to sign that my search for a band with such a name was futile? I was already a professional musician, and settling for something below the waistline seemed absurd. 

I called a taxi and confidently instructed the driver to take me to my needed address. He informed me that the area was just warehouses, but I insisted on proceeding, mentioning that I was headed to a heavy metal rehearsal. He sighed and shook his head, but I paid the 50€ fare without hesitation. 

That choice ultimately led me to a European tour with a different band, so the investment took me further than just the warehouse with a band called An Average Size of a Penis. 

It’s a match!

I’m again on a mission to find a band, and the search process is surprisingly similar to finding a match on Tinder. There’s a website where you create a profile and decide on contacts to the left and right. Once you’re connected, it’s time to schedule that crucial first date. Like on Tinder, I received plenty of likes and captivating stories behind each profile, but there’s no room for mockery this time.

Creativity isn’t something everyone possesses or feels brave enough to show. Playing straight lines in music is dull and uninspired; we need a diverse range of individuals to bring their unique visions to the table. Whether it’s a guitarist who boldly chooses to wear nothing but pink, flaunting a glittery guitar while crooning about a red can of beer from Lidl, or a former adult film star eager to display his vocal talents, there’s room for everyone. Even those torn between singing about Jesus and angels while being trapped in a world of making music for gadgets and commercials deserve a voice. We need all kinds of expressions to explore what imagination can sound like. 

Throughout this process, I remember the origins of our Duo radar. The bold Björk-inspired eyebrows shaved in a toilet, and our crafted outfits were unrestricted by conventional limits, just as we were with our musical ideas. I look back on that time fondly, even though the knowledge I’ve gained has undoubtedly elevated my musicianship. However, creativity can be stifled by an understanding of what’s possible.

That said, I have discovered what I was searching for—my match, music. I have joined two bands—one focusing on progressive rock and the other on rhythm and blues. Just last weekend, I recorded violins and backing vocals for a heavy metal group, and after hearing the results, my collaboration with a music producer from Sri Lanka shows great promise. This year, our period orchestra also received a grand, allowing us to continue working with professional musicians.

Gone are the days of shaving eyebrows and relying solely on vodka, chips, and cigarettes; Google Maps was invented years ago, and AI is our common villain in handcrafting music.

My journey as a partner in music has evolved to a level of expertise with clear boundaries. The only exit from this relationship will be when the final curtain falls, and the stage lights dim on my best performance in this grand piece called Life. This is a match for a lifelong relationship. 

P.S 

Still looking for a groupie.